The Tool Gen Z Uses Instead of Gut-Wrenching Vulnerability

While previous generations often navigated through awkward conversations in person or turned to therapy for relationship troubles, Gen Z is now seeking advice from a more modern source – ChatGPT.

Available 24/7, it serves as a patient friend or coach, offering advice without judgment. But is this truly the best way to get relationship guidance?

In today's world, Gen Z is using technology to improve their communication skills. From perfecting flirting techniques to preparing for tough discussions, AI is swiftly becoming a favored relationship coach.

A Digital Companion

Social media platforms are filled with Gen Z users sharing their experiences of relying on AI for emotional support. Videos on TikTok featuring hashtags like #ChatGPT and #AI attract millions of viewers, while discussions on Reddit focus on how AI has assisted in crafting breakup texts and handling arguments.

According to Dan Auerbach, a clinical director at Associated Counsellors & Psychologists in Sydney, this trend reflects a combination of the digital upbringing of young people and the increased social anxiety following the pandemic.

"Young individuals are looking for a safe environment to practice difficult dialogues without fear of judgment," he notes.

"Most of Gen Z received their first smartphones around the age of 12, and they have grown accustomed to texting rather than engaging in face-to-face conversations. After the pandemic lockdowns, returning to real-world interactions can feel overwhelming for many."

The Alluring Nature of AI Advice

AI tools provide an immediate, non-judgmental space to reflect on emotions. Unlike human friends or therapists, AI is always there, won't ignore you, and doesn’t require an appointment.

"These AI tools cater to our deep-seated human desires for attachment and belonging," Auerbach explains. "For Gen Z, who grew up with digital interactions and often face high social anxiety, AI allows them to practice connecting without the risk of rejection. It meets an essential human need in a low-stakes environment."

Proponents of using AI for relationship coaching argue that it can help users build self-confidence and enhance their communication skills. By rehearsing conversations in a controlled setting, individuals may feel more equipped for genuine interactions.

Andrew Gung, founder and CEO of Core Confidence, a dating coaching company for men, has recently integrated AI into his coaching methodology.

Originally focused on face-to-face coaching, Gung noticed many clients were struggling with similar dating issues. To meet this demand, he developed Spark, an AI-powered dating coach available on Discord, serving over 400 users.

"While we don’t encourage clients to copy responses, Spark provides at least five suggestions for them to consider," Gung states. "We’ve made it a learning resource for our participants."

Core Confidence is also working on new AI-enhanced tools, including a conversation simulator enabling users to practice texting with a virtual partner, and another that allows for real-time conversation rehearsal with an AI voice assistant.

"Having a dating coach available at your fingertips is revolutionary," Gung asserts. "Information is just seconds away whenever you need it, which allows for significant improvements without having to wait."

Will AI Replace Human Relationship Advice?

While for some users AI is merely a rehearsal tool, others are starting to view it as a replacement for traditional therapy and relationship advice.

Despite the benefits AI provides, Gung emphasizes that it cannot replace the need for human facilitators. "The human-to-human connection will always be essential in this service, though AI is rapidly evolving," he adds.

Auerbach echoes these concerns, suggesting that AI diminishes the fundamental ingredients of real relationships, namely risk and vulnerability.

"Without the possibility of rejection, these interactions feel stage-managed. It’s like learning how to swim on dry land. The real emotional hardship that comes from putting oneself out there is what’s missing in AI conversations," Auerbach explains.

He highlights that although AI-generated replies may appear human-like, users inherently recognize that they are communicating with a machine.

"Ultimately, you are interacting with a sophisticated device, and that understanding modifies your experience," he points out. "Without the presence of a real person who might reject you, the significance of the interaction falls away. Authentic relationships necessitate facing awkward moments with individuals whose feelings truly matter. Do you feel real butterflies when chatting with AI?"

GenZ, AI, Relationships, Communication, Vulnerability